WEEK 6 - Pahuaja Thao

In “My mother not my mother” by Kieu Linh Caroline Valverde, Professor Valverde talked about her relationship with her mother and in many ways, it reminded me of a quote from “The Lovers” tarot card. The card stated that “We are forces moving together through the interconnectedness of traumas - traumas between two people, many peoples, or the self and an inner child.” This quote explains that no matter how strain Professor Valverde and her mother’s relationship were and how different they were among each other, they were still both mother and daughter connected through hardships.

I feel that, especially in the Asian cultures, we tend to uphold our relationship with our family members no matter how shameful they are to our name. Another quote from “The Lovers”  states “The lovers urges you to examine the space you hold for the ones you care for (self included) - and how the intuition of the body and contemplation of care can bring you to a practice of love with no impulse to possess.”. What this quote means to the Asian culture and their view on family is that no matter how close or distant you are with one another, you should continue to love them without having to have a deep connection with them.

Question:

From my many observations and conversations with my first cousin, I noticed that most Asian parents express their love for their kids through tough love. However, why is it that no matter how many time we screw up, they tend to be more forgiving and patient towards us?